?The president?s been shot by me. Oh my God, the president?s been shot by me.?

[Dan DAlimonte]

Get a load of DAlimonte
He thinks someone actually said this
WTF, eh? HaHa.

"Anyone (and everyone) except Oswald"
Yes, that's why I call the shooter RandomMan at times

Like the grounded, eminently sensible Steve Shives on YouTube says, JFK conspiracy theorists are silly and worthy only of mockery. (Now watch some CTroll accuse me of relying on other people to tell me how to think haha).

I've got even funnier takes
The hits just keep on comin'

Stay tuned

When I stated that if his last name was Dented as opposed to Denton I was implying
that in reality he must have been whacked in the head.  That either way you look at it, he
must have been whacked in the head.  My fault for writing it the way I did.

[Joe Elliott]

People who admit that they shot at the President (like James Files) always claim they fired the fatal head shot. We never have one step forward and confess that they made the shot that missed the limousine and nicked James Tague. People will admit to almost anything. Admit to being a murderer, a traitor, a mobster, a mistress, a prostitute, a gun runner, anything except being a total klutz.

It?s conceivable we will someday find out who killed the President. But we will never find out who nicked James Tague. That shooter will take that secret to the grave.

[Bill Chapman]

The Onion is a satirical website.
The guy did not say that, and his name is not Denton.

It's satire, people.

It's amazing how easily people fall for these spoof sites
For example The Onion-faked Obama rambling 75,000 word email that was posted by the lunatic-fringe righty blogosphere (urban email nonsense) was swallowed by righty nut jobs, including Fox Nation.

See some other successful spoofs below

The Onion
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion
 
Fooled by 'The Onion': 9 Most Embarrassing Fails - The Daily Beast
https://www.thedailybeast.com/fooled-by-the-onion-9-most-embarrassing-fails

Apparently Fox Nation Doesn't Know The Onion Is Fake News ...
www.businessinsider.com/apparently-fox-nation-doesnt-know-the-onion-is-fake-news...

[John Anderson]

Well plenty mugs fell for James Files. That guy who left bullets at the crime scene with teeth marks in them.

[Bill Chapman]

Well plenty mugs fell for James Files. That guy who left bullets at the crime scene with teeth marks in them.

Yep, just the sort of thing The Onion goofs on.

[John Iacoletti]

People who admit that they shot at the President (like James Files) always claim they fired the fatal head shot. We never have one step forward and confess that they made the shot that missed the limousine and nicked James Tague.

. . . as if you actually know that there was a shot that missed the limousine and nicked James Tague.

[John Anderson]

As if you actually know that James Tague was nicked at all.