A sock puppet among us?

[Martin Weidmann]

Your Sock Puppet Committee would note that Tom has not even logged on since I started this thread, indeed not since I responded to his nasty comment that precipitated this thread. I hope I didn't hurt his imaginary feelings. Now that Martin has spent the 4.2 seconds it takes to change one's time settings, he and Tom are a full hour apart. One might think this would provide a sufficient safety net for Tom to start posting again without fear of being accused of non-existence by your Committee.

Martin's new time zone, BTW, places him on a small fishing vessel somewhere in the Atlantic, or possibly an internet cafe in Banjul. Gambia (which your Committee believes may in fact be a sock puppet country created by The Donald for purposes unknown but surely nefarious).

Your Committee does admire the sheer sock puppet chutzpah with which Martin simply carries on as though his goofy facade had not been reamed, steamed and drycleaned. Actually, Martin, your Committee thinks you should just start over with an entirely new gig. We're going to suggest "Fuzzy Wuzzy" so you don't even have to pretend to be a person; yes, you can be an actual sock puppet and fulfill these deviant fantasies that seem to possess you.

Just flew back from Sydney and, boy, are my arms tired! Ba-da-boom, ba-da-ba, a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants.

Now that Martin has spent the 4.2 seconds it takes to change one's time settings, he and Tom are a full hour apart.

Which means that your "full meta-analysis" is completely bogus.

Martin's new time zone, BTW, places him on a small fishing vessel somewhere in the Atlantic, or possibly an internet cafe in Banjul.

So, you don't even know how GMT works.... I'm at GMT + 1 not minus 1

[Lance Payette]

Your Sock Puppet Committee is, of course, merely an advisory body with no rule-making authority. Nevertheless, by a vote of 5-2, with one abstention, your Committee is recommending to the Site Owner the following addition to the Forum Rules:

Use of Sock Puppets

The use of Sock Puppets (as hereinafter defined) is not expressly prohibited inasmuch as these imaginary creatures can provide insights into the Owner Member’s psychological fitness and be a source for mirth for others. HOWEVER, the use of Sock Puppets solely to agree with the Owner Member’s posts (e.g., “Damn right, big guy!”, “I must concur with Martin here,”  ) is PROHIBITED and may result in discipline for both the Owner Member and the Sock Puppet. Contributions by Sock Puppets shall be reasonably substantive and/or droll (in the sole discretion of the Site Owner). Sock Puppets who disagree with their Owner Member and/or call him silly names are encouraged. To prevent deception and confusion, all Sock Puppets shall include the Owner Member’s name as part of the Sock Puppet’s name (e.g., “Martin’s Cutie,” “Martin’s Little Buddy,” etc.). Members who find this to be an excessive creative challenge are referred to the useful Fantasy Name Generator, https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/puppet-names.php. If the Owner Member's name is itself a fake name, the Owner Member shall use the "FN" (Fake Name) identifier in the Sock Puppet's name, to wit: "FN Martin's Fuzzy Wuzzy." A Sock Puppet shall be either male or female and shall retain the gender assigned at birth for the duration of said Sock Puppet's imaginary existence. No member shall own more than five (5) Sock Puppets at any given time. If a Sock Puppet is retired, the Owner Member shall give appropriate notice to the Site Owner and the Forum. The death or banning of an Owner Member shall be deemed to cause the expiration of all affiliated Sock Puppets. Violations of the Forum Rules by a Sock Puppet shall be deemed a violation by the Member Owner unless such violations are exceedingly witty (in the sole discretion of the Site Owner). Contributions by Sock Puppets may not be accompanied by disgusting noises generated by the Fart Machine, https://fart-machine.com/, whereas other members may (and are encouraged to) respond to a Sock Puppet's contributions with said noises as deemed appropriate. As used herein, the term “Sock Puppet” shall mean an imaginary friend that that a psychologically challenged member creates for the purpose of enhancing said member’s Forum experience and providing safety, security and support to said member in his posting activities.

Effective 4/23/25.

All Sock Puppets existing as of the Effective Date are hereby assigned to Sock Puppet Heaven. If a member wishes to resurrect such a Sock Puppet, he may do so in accordance with this Rule. For example, "Tom Sorensen," may he rest in peace, may be resurrected as "FN Martin's Tom Sorenson" if the Owner Member so desires. Alternatively, "Tom Sorensen" may be resurrected as, for example, "FN Martin's Cuddly Wuddly" so long as the first post by the resurrected Sock Puppet clearly states, in bold font, "I used to be Tom Sorensen."

It took 40+ years, but I just KNEW going to law school would come in handy some day.

[Martin Weidmann]

Your Sock Puppet Committee is, of course, merely an advisory body with no rule-making authority. Nevertheless, by a vote of 5-2, with one abstention, your Committee is recommending to the Site Owner the following addition to the Forum Rules:

Use of Sock Puppets

The use of Sock Puppets (as hereinafter defined) is not expressly prohibited inasmuch as these imaginary creatures can provide insights into the Owner Member’s psychological fitness and be a source for mirth for others. HOWEVER, the use of Sock Puppets solely to agree with the Owner Member’s posts (e.g., “Damn right, big guy!”, “I must concur with Martin here,”  ) is PROHIBITED and may result in discipline for both the Owner Member and the Sock Puppet. Contributions by Sock Puppets shall be reasonably substantive and/or droll (in the sole discretion of the Site Owner). Sock Puppets who disagree with their Owner Member and/or call him silly names are encouraged. To prevent deception and confusion, all Sock Puppets shall include the Owner Member’s name as part of the Sock Puppet’s name (e.g., “Martin’s Cutie,” “Martin’s Little Buddy,” etc.). Members who find this to be an excessive creative challenge are referred to the useful Fantasy Name Generator, https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/puppet-names.php. If the Owner Member's name is itself a fake name, the Owner Member shall use the "FN" (Fake Name) identifier in the Sock Puppet's name, to wit: "FN Martin's Fuzzy Wuzzy." A Sock Puppet shall be either male or female and shall retain the gender assigned at birth for the duration of said Sock Puppet's imaginary existence. No member shall own more than five (5) Sock Puppets at any given time. If a Sock Puppet is retired, the Owner Member shall give appropriate notice to the Site Owner and the Forum. The death or banning of an Owner Member shall be deemed to cause the expiration of all affiliated Sock Puppets. Violations of the Forum Rules by a Sock Puppet shall be deemed a violation by the Member Owner unless such violations are exceedingly witty (in the sole discretion of the Site Owner). Contributions by Sock Puppets may not be accompanied by disgusting noises generated by the Fart Machine, https://fart-machine.com/, whereas other members may (and are encouraged to) respond to a Sock Puppet's contributions with said noises as deemed appropriate. As used herein, the term “Sock Puppet” shall mean an imaginary friend that that a psychologically challenged member creates for the purpose of enhancing said member’s Forum experience and providing safety, security and support to said member in his posting activities.

Effective 4/23/25.

All Sock Puppets existing as of the Effective Date are hereby assigned to Sock Puppet Heaven. If a member wishes to resurrect such a Sock Puppet, he may do so in accordance with this Rule. For example, "Tom Sorensen," may he rest in peace, may be resurrected as "FN Martin's Tom Sorenson" if the Owner Member so desires. Alternatively, "Tom Sorensen" may be resurrected as, for example, "FN Martin's Cuddly Wuddly" so long as the first post by the resurrected Sock Puppet clearly states, in bold font, "I used to be Tom Sorensen."

It took 40+ years, but I just KNEW going to law school would come in handy some day.

I happen to know a guy who also went to law school. He was the janitor.

[Lance Payette]

I happen to know a guy who also went to law school. He was the janitor.

Named "Tom Sorensen," by any chance? Is this what you meant by "one of my old Law Professors" in your exchange with John? I suppose cleaning the urinals does give one a certain level of attachment to the users.

Keep trying.

[Martin Weidmann]

Named "Tom Sorensen," by any chance? Is this what you meant by "one of my old Law Professors" in your exchange with John? I suppose cleaning the urinals does give one a certain level of attachment to the users.

Keep trying.

No, Tom Sorensen isn't one of my old Law Professors.

Keep writing. The more you write, the more you expose that you are "Mytton" or at least his twin brother.

One thing is for sure, you have the same ego as "Mytton" and are just as easily provoked. That's a bad quality for a lawyer. For a janitor not so much.

Greetings from Banjul!   

Btw, have you figured out how GMT works?

Just one more question if I may. I'm just curious, you said you just flew back from Sydney;

Just flew back from Sydney and, boy, are my arms tired! Ba-da-boom, ba-da-ba, a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants.

but there is no way you could have flown to Australia and back in such a short time frame. Did you perhaps mean Sydney, Florida?

[Lance Payette]

I’m not sure who should be more flattered that Martin thinks Lance Payette and John Mytton are the same person – Lance or John? If I am in fact John, I’ve been posting here since 2018 and have accumulated 4,784 posts. Golly, I’ve been busy! Odd that I would have initially adopted the name of a 19th century British eccentric and then shifted to a retired but very much living Arizona lawyer, eh, but perhaps I’m just funny that way. Contrarian that I am, I start out with my sock puppet and then shift to my real identity seven years later!

Anyhoo, Martin has kindly pointed out that I confused Greenwich Mean Time with the Space-Time Continuum and thus incorrectly placed him on a dinghy in the Atlantic. My bad.

I have thought for 50 years that the UK was always 8 hours ahead of Arizona. I apparently failed to take into account some wacky permutation called British Summer Time. Thanks to it, when it’s noon in Arizona it’s apparently Christmas morning in the UK. Now that’s just weird. In any event, BST is 9 hours ahead of Arizona.

At present, with Arizona eschewing Daylight Savings Time because we already have enough daylight, thank you, noon in Arizona is 8 PM Greenwich Mean Time. In fact, because we eschew both DST and BST, noon in Arizona is always 8 PM GMT. At least I got my own time setting correct!

Martin, after changing his time zone, is 9 hours ahead of Arizona. So I was incorrect that this places him in shark-infested waters in the Atlantic where he belongs. It actually places him cleaning urinals at Miss Muffy’s Law School for Prodigious Toddlers in Prague, Czech Republic. Sorry, Martin. Or, if he’s on BST, he actually could be cleaning urinals at Oxford, but we’re not going down that road since it gives us a headache.

Oh, yes, what about Tom? Martin believes that because he changed his time zone a couple of days ago, this erases my observation that he and Tom were posting from the same time zone. Apparently, the change works retroactively, like a time machine! I had no idea and stand corrected.

Tom, dull fellow that he is, is in the same time zone as the Forum. This, of course, places Tom cleaning urinals at the Royal Observatory in London, and I’ll have to admit I’m impressed.

The bottom line, time fans, is that because Martin and Tom are now separated by one hour, and this change works retroactively, Tom could not have been writing Martin’s posts because … because … well … oh, the hell with it. It makes sense to Martin, and that should be good enough for the rest of us.

[Martin Weidmann]

I’m not sure who should be more flattered that Martin thinks Lance Payette and John Mytton are the same person – Lance or John? If I am in fact John, I’ve been posting here since 2018 and have accumulated 4,784 posts. Golly, I’ve been busy! Odd that I would have initially adopted the name of a 19th century British eccentric and then shifted to a retired but very much living Arizona lawyer, eh, but perhaps I’m just funny that way. Contrarian that I am, I start out with my sock puppet and then shift to my real identity seven years later!

Anyhoo, Martin has kindly pointed out that I confused Greenwich Mean Time with the Space-Time Continuum and thus incorrectly placed him on a dinghy in the Atlantic. My bad.

I have thought for 50 years that the UK was always 8 hours ahead of Arizona. I apparently failed to take into account some wacky permutation called British Summer Time. Thanks to it, when it’s noon in Arizona it’s apparently Christmas morning in the UK. Now that’s just weird. In any event, BST is 9 hours ahead of Arizona.

At present, with Arizona eschewing Daylight Savings Time because we already have enough daylight, thank you, noon in Arizona is 8 PM Greenwich Mean Time. In fact, because we eschew both DST and BST, noon in Arizona is always 8 PM GMT. At least I got my own time setting correct!

Martin, after changing his time zone, is 9 hours ahead of Arizona. So I was incorrect that this places him in shark-infested waters in the Atlantic where he belongs. It actually places him cleaning urinals at Miss Muffy’s Law School for Prodigious Toddlers in Prague, Czech Republic. Sorry, Martin. Or, if he’s on BST, he actually could be cleaning urinals at Oxford, but we’re not going down that road since it gives us a headache.

Oh, yes, what about Tom? Martin believes that because he changed his time zone a couple of days ago, this erases my observation that he and Tom were posting from the same time zone. Apparently, the change works retroactively, like a time machine! I had no idea and stand corrected.

Tom, dull fellow that he is, is in the same time zone as the Forum. This, of course, places Tom cleaning urinals at the Royal Observatory in London, and I’ll have to admit I’m impressed.

The bottom line, time fans, is that because Martin and Tom are now separated by one hour, and this change works retroactively, Tom could not have been writing Martin’s posts because … because … well … oh, the hell with it. It makes sense to Martin, and that should be good enough for the rest of us.

I’m not sure who should be more flattered that Martin thinks Lance Payette and John Mytton are the same person – Lance or John?

Hey, you started this BS. I'm just showing you how it can also work against you. Being the smart lawyer you pretend to be, didn't you figure that out by now.

If I am in fact John, I’ve been posting here since 2018 and have accumulated 4,784 posts. Golly, I’ve been busy! Odd that I would have initially adopted the name of a 19th century British eccentric and then shifted to a retired but very much living Arizona lawyer, eh, but perhaps I’m just funny that way. Contrarian that I am, I start out with my sock puppet and then shift to my real identity seven years later!

How do we know you've shifted to your real identity?

Earlier in this thread you said that I never denied to be Tom Sorensen;

We note that in your umbrage you do not actually deny that you are in fact "Tom" - or the lovely and talented "Roger Collins," for that matter.

The reason for that is that it doesn't make a damn bit of difference if I deny it or not. Fools like "Mytton" and you will always find a way to disbelieve it and argue the denial isn't true because of the perceived consequences;

Although what I have described might reasonably be described as an astonishing coincidence,

so, I just pointed out to you the astonishing coincidences between you and "Mytton". How does that make you feel?

Anyhoo, Martin has kindly pointed out that I confused Greenwich Mean Time with the Space-Time Continuum and thus incorrectly placed him on a dinghy in the Atlantic. My bad.

Yeah, you just had the entire world going backwards. No big deal! Just a minor mistake by a learned man, right?

I have thought for 50 years that the UK was always 8 hours ahead of Arizona. I apparently failed to take into account some wacky permutation called British Summer Time. Thanks to it, when it’s noon in Arizona it’s apparently Christmas morning in the UK. Now that’s just weird. In any event, BST is 9 hours ahead of Arizona.

Actually, the is no such thing as British summer time. All of Europe uses Summer time. The biggest part of Europe is always GMT + 1, regardless of winter or summer time.

Martin, after changing his time zone, is 9 hours ahead of Arizona. So I was incorrect that this places him in shark-infested waters in the Atlantic where he belongs. It actually places him cleaning urinals at Miss Muffy’s Law School for Prodigious Toddlers in Prague, Czech Republic. Sorry, Martin. Or, if he’s on BST, he actually could be cleaning urinals at Oxford, but we’re not going down that road since it gives us a headache.

Oh boy, now he's getting nasty while still displaying his ignorance. Prague is indeed in the same GMT + 1 time zone, but so is Paris, Madrid, Amsterdam and Berlin, but not (let's confuse him a bit more) Lisbon.

Oh, yes, what about Tom? Martin believes that because he changed his time zone a couple of days ago, this erases my observation that he and Tom were posting from the same time zone. Apparently, the change works retroactively, like a time machine! I had no idea and stand corrected.