A sock puppet among us?

[Martin Weidmann]

Your Sock Puppet Committee would note that Tom has not even logged on since I started this thread, indeed not since I responded to his nasty comment that precipitated this thread. I hope I didn't hurt his imaginary feelings. Now that Martin has spent the 4.2 seconds it takes to change one's time settings, he and Tom are a full hour apart. One might think this would provide a sufficient safety net for Tom to start posting again without fear of being accused of non-existence by your Committee.

Martin's new time zone, BTW, places him on a small fishing vessel somewhere in the Atlantic, or possibly an internet cafe in Banjul. Gambia (which your Committee believes may in fact be a sock puppet country created by The Donald for purposes unknown but surely nefarious).

Your Committee does admire the sheer sock puppet chutzpah with which Martin simply carries on as though his goofy facade had not been reamed, steamed and drycleaned. Actually, Martin, your Committee thinks you should just start over with an entirely new gig. We're going to suggest "Fuzzy Wuzzy" so you don't even have to pretend to be a person; yes, you can be an actual sock puppet and fulfill these deviant fantasies that seem to possess you.

Just flew back from Sydney and, boy, are my arms tired! Ba-da-boom, ba-da-ba, a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer in your pants.

Now that Martin has spent the 4.2 seconds it takes to change one's time settings, he and Tom are a full hour apart.

Which means that your "full meta-analysis" is completely bogus.

Martin's new time zone, BTW, places him on a small fishing vessel somewhere in the Atlantic, or possibly an internet cafe in Banjul.

So, you don't even know how GMT works.... I'm at GMT + 1 not minus 1

[Lance Payette]

Your Sock Puppet Committee is, of course, merely an advisory body with no rule-making authority. Nevertheless, by a vote of 5-2, with one abstention, your Committee is recommending to the Site Owner the following addition to the Forum Rules:

Use of Sock Puppets

The use of Sock Puppets (as hereinafter defined) is not expressly prohibited inasmuch as these imaginary creatures can provide insights into the Owner Member’s psychological fitness and be a source for mirth for others. HOWEVER, the use of Sock Puppets solely to agree with the Owner Member’s posts (e.g., “Damn right, big guy!”, “I must concur with Martin here,”  ) is PROHIBITED and may result in discipline for both the Owner Member and the Sock Puppet. Contributions by Sock Puppets shall be reasonably substantive and/or droll (in the sole discretion of the Site Owner). Sock Puppets who disagree with their Owner Member and/or call him silly names are encouraged. To prevent deception and confusion, all Sock Puppets shall include the Owner Member’s name as part of the Sock Puppet’s name (e.g., “Martin’s Cutie,” “Martin’s Little Buddy,” etc.). Members who find this to be an excessive creative challenge are referred to the useful Fantasy Name Generator, https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/puppet-names.php. If the Owner Member's name is itself a fake name, the Owner Member shall use the "FN" (Fake Name) identifier in the Sock Puppet's name, to wit: "FN Martin's Fuzzy Wuzzy." A Sock Puppet shall be either male or female and shall retain the gender assigned at birth for the duration of said Sock Puppet's imaginary existence. No member shall own more than five (5) Sock Puppets at any given time. If a Sock Puppet is retired, the Owner Member shall give appropriate notice to the Site Owner and the Forum. The death or banning of an Owner Member shall be deemed to cause the expiration of all affiliated Sock Puppets. Violations of the Forum Rules by a Sock Puppet shall be deemed a violation by the Member Owner unless such violations are exceedingly witty (in the sole discretion of the Site Owner). Contributions by Sock Puppets may not be accompanied by disgusting noises generated by the Fart Machine, https://fart-machine.com/, whereas other members may (and are encouraged to) respond to a Sock Puppet's contributions with said noises as deemed appropriate. As used herein, the term “Sock Puppet” shall mean an imaginary friend that that a psychologically challenged member creates for the purpose of enhancing said member’s Forum experience and providing safety, security and support to said member in his posting activities.

Effective 4/23/25.

All Sock Puppets existing as of the Effective Date are hereby assigned to Sock Puppet Heaven. If a member wishes to resurrect such a Sock Puppet, he may do so in accordance with this Rule. For example, "Tom Sorensen," may he rest in peace, may be resurrected as "FN Martin's Tom Sorenson" if the Owner Member so desires. Alternatively, "Tom Sorensen" may be resurrected as, for example, "FN Martin's Cuddly Wuddly" so long as the first post by the resurrected Sock Puppet clearly states, in bold font, "I used to be Tom Sorensen."

It took 40+ years, but I just KNEW going to law school would come in handy some day.

[Martin Weidmann]

Your Sock Puppet Committee is, of course, merely an advisory body with no rule-making authority. Nevertheless, by a vote of 5-2, with one abstention, your Committee is recommending to the Site Owner the following addition to the Forum Rules:

Use of Sock Puppets

The use of Sock Puppets (as hereinafter defined) is not expressly prohibited inasmuch as these imaginary creatures can provide insights into the Owner Member’s psychological fitness and be a source for mirth for others. HOWEVER, the use of Sock Puppets solely to agree with the Owner Member’s posts (e.g., “Damn right, big guy!”, “I must concur with Martin here,”  ) is PROHIBITED and may result in discipline for both the Owner Member and the Sock Puppet. Contributions by Sock Puppets shall be reasonably substantive and/or droll (in the sole discretion of the Site Owner). Sock Puppets who disagree with their Owner Member and/or call him silly names are encouraged. To prevent deception and confusion, all Sock Puppets shall include the Owner Member’s name as part of the Sock Puppet’s name (e.g., “Martin’s Cutie,” “Martin’s Little Buddy,” etc.). Members who find this to be an excessive creative challenge are referred to the useful Fantasy Name Generator, https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/puppet-names.php. If the Owner Member's name is itself a fake name, the Owner Member shall use the "FN" (Fake Name) identifier in the Sock Puppet's name, to wit: "FN Martin's Fuzzy Wuzzy." A Sock Puppet shall be either male or female and shall retain the gender assigned at birth for the duration of said Sock Puppet's imaginary existence. No member shall own more than five (5) Sock Puppets at any given time. If a Sock Puppet is retired, the Owner Member shall give appropriate notice to the Site Owner and the Forum. The death or banning of an Owner Member shall be deemed to cause the expiration of all affiliated Sock Puppets. Violations of the Forum Rules by a Sock Puppet shall be deemed a violation by the Member Owner unless such violations are exceedingly witty (in the sole discretion of the Site Owner). Contributions by Sock Puppets may not be accompanied by disgusting noises generated by the Fart Machine, https://fart-machine.com/, whereas other members may (and are encouraged to) respond to a Sock Puppet's contributions with said noises as deemed appropriate. As used herein, the term “Sock Puppet” shall mean an imaginary friend that that a psychologically challenged member creates for the purpose of enhancing said member’s Forum experience and providing safety, security and support to said member in his posting activities.

Effective 4/23/25.

All Sock Puppets existing as of the Effective Date are hereby assigned to Sock Puppet Heaven. If a member wishes to resurrect such a Sock Puppet, he may do so in accordance with this Rule. For example, "Tom Sorensen," may he rest in peace, may be resurrected as "FN Martin's Tom Sorenson" if the Owner Member so desires. Alternatively, "Tom Sorensen" may be resurrected as, for example, "FN Martin's Cuddly Wuddly" so long as the first post by the resurrected Sock Puppet clearly states, in bold font, "I used to be Tom Sorensen."

It took 40+ years, but I just KNEW going to law school would come in handy some day.

I happen to know a guy who also went to law school. He was the janitor.