Space Force Members Will Be Called 'Guardians'
https://www.npr.org/2020/12/19/948375055/space-force-members-will-be-called-guardiansThe newest branch of the Military, to go along with Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines which last year was given the name “Space Force”, has a new name for its members, “Guardians”. The name of the branch is still “Space Force”, not “Guardians” or “Guardians formerly known as Space Force”. But the members of the military are now called Soldiers, Sailors and Guardians”. While this is an exciting development, don’t expect Space Force to beat Alabama anytime soon.
The primary task of the Guardians will be to track down and detain any Illegal Space Alien, including any Reptilian, even if they are disguised as a Caucasian. Except, of course, those with a proper Green card or found wearing MAGA gear. Any Illegal Reptilian is then to be escorted them back to their home planet by a squad of Guardians.
I think the name “Guardians” is quite good. Its important to pick a good Sci-Fi Movie name as the basis of the new name so “Guardians of the Galaxy” was a good choice. “Galaxy Questers” or “Starship Troopers” would have been bad choices, particularly in light of the events of January 6 which the President considers to be quite unfortunate. Not so much because of the violence but because it somehow failed to give him four more years.
In hindsight, the President should have given a slightly longer speech:
We’re going to walk down to the Capitol, and we’re going to cheer on our brave senators and congressmen and women, and we’re probably not going to be cheering so much for some of them, because you’ll never take back our country with weakness. You have to show strength, and you have to be strong.
This is all well and good, but he also needed to add:
You have to show strength, and you have to be strong. And you have to be thorough. You have to check out every nook and cranny.
He forgot that these people aren’t good at figuring out the obvious.
Well, after all, this was their first coup. They’ll do better next time. Even the Nazis didn’t get it right the first time. It’s always a bad idea to launch a coup from a beer hall which invites the Storm Troopers to get loaded just when they need to be at their sharpest.
Some may wonder why the President would waste his time evaluating names for the members of the Space Force during the midst of a pandemic. But I say whatever diverts him from his next assault on Congress is fine with me.
