The Simplest Conspiracy Theory

[Dan O'meara]

I was still writing it when you so anxiously posted it, O'meara, so here it is in its complete (for now) form.

Enjoy!

Oswald fired his short-rifle at a wild pig down by the river but the distinctive round-nosed bullet went through another wild pig that intervened at the last second and it (the bullet) started tumbling before it hit the pig Oswald was actually aiming at and since it was tumbling, it sideswiped a bone in the pig and fractured it and got strangely deformed in the process and then it exited the pig and someone who works at Parkland Hospital was walking along the river later that day and found it (the bullet, that is) and put in their pocket but their pocket had a hole in it and when they walked in to work the next day they realized that their shoe laces had become untied so they sat down on a gurney and tied their shoe and the bullet fell out of the hole in their pocket and rolled under a pillow or something and it was just a coincidence that they brought Governor Connally into the hospital later that day on the very same gurney and that an employee by the name of Tomlinson happened to bump into the gurney in the hallway after they'd taken Connally off of it and it rolled out from under the pillow or something and he saw it and picked it up and showed it to his boss, O. P. Wright, who, as an older dude, may have already been suffering from the onset of dementia?

 
Just making sure there's a copy of this for when you sober up.

[Lance Payette]

I was still writing it when you so anxiously posted it, O'meara, so here it is in its complete (for now) form.

Enjoy!

Oswald fired his short-rifle at a wild pig down by the river but the distinctive round-nosed bullet went through another wild pig that intervened at the last second and it (the bullet) started tumbling before it hit the pig Oswald was actually aiming at and since it was tumbling, it sideswiped a bone in the pig and fractured it and got strangely deformed in the process and then it exited the pig and someone who works at Parkland Hospital was walking along the river later that day and found it (the bullet, that is) and put in their pocket but their pocket had a hole in it and when they walked in to work the next day they realized that their shoe laces had become untied so they sat down on a gurney and tied their shoe and the bullet fell out of the hole in their pocket and rolled under a pillow or something and it was just a coincidence that they brought Governor Connally into the hospital later that day on the very same gurney and that an employee by the name of Tomlinson happened to bump into the gurney in the hallway after they'd taken Connally off of it and it rolled out from under the pillow or something and that he saw it and picked it up and showed it to O. P. Wright who, as an older dude, may have already been suffering from the onset of dementia?

  Nice!

And so, the so-called "Walker note" was, in fact, referring to a wild pig hunt - correct? And, moreover, the brain of the pig was substituted for JFK's at the autopsy - correct? And when Oswald said "I'm just a patsy" he actually thought they'd arrested him for pig hunting without a license - correct? It's all starting to come together for me now.

[Dan O'meara]

Nice!

And so, the so-called "Walker note" was, in fact, referring to a wild pig hunt - correct? And, moreover, the brain of the pig was substituted for JFK's at the autopsy - correct? And when Oswald said "I'm just a patsy" he actually thought they'd arrested him for pig hunting without a license - correct? It's all starting to come together for me now.

 
You guys.

[John Iacoletti]

Appeals to ridicule are tacit admissions that the actual point cannot be addressed.

[Tom Graves]

This is a question you have to answer.
It has been demonstrated, beyond any reasonable doubt, that CE399 was NOT the bullet found in Parkland.
You don't have a single shred of evidence that it was.
So how do you explain the existence of CE399?

Whether or not CE-399, with ballistic marks from Oswald's short-rifle on it, was the bullet that was found at Parkland Hospital (at least you're admitting that a bullet was found at Parkland Hospital), who fired it from Oswald's short-rifle, how did it get so strangely deformed, where was it found or "found," and how did it end up being given to FBI agent Elmer Todd?

If it wasn't found at Parkland Hospital by Tomlinson, and if it wasn't found an innocent person somewhere else (the riverbank?) and given to his or her buddy Tomlinson (a natural-born prankster, evidently) for some unknown reason, which conspirator initiated the process of its being given to FBI agent Todd (or was HE one of the bad guys, too?), and why did the bad guys include Tomlinson, et al., in the "bogus chain of possession"?

Which goes back to my original question -- How many bad guys and/or really, really bad gals do you think were involved, altogether, in the planning, the "patsy-ing," the shooting, and the all-important cover up?

It doesn't have to be exact, O'meara -- plus or minus ten or so.

Oodles and gobs?